More Thoughts, Anyone?

in raising teen girls i feel that it's very important for them to make wise choices about who they will spend their future with. but in making those choices there are some pretty hard questions that must be asked. i've put together a few, but would love to hear other thoughts that you all have.

1. "be full of joy in the Lord always" (phil 4:4)
do you have fun? real fun? do you laugh together until your sdes hurt and you've got tears streaming down your face? do you play together-putt-putt, football, karate, board games, whatever? it's really important to have fun in order to make a relationship last. remember to be friends first; put the romance second. that way you know it will last longer than the come-and-go emotions.

2. "love your neighbor as you love yourself" (matt 19:19)
... does this guy respect you? not just opening doors for you, or paying for dinner. those are nice things to do, but you need to consider are things like: does he make jokes at your expense? does he try to protect your integrity? does he listen to what you say? does he care about your well being? guys are built to be agressive-just make sure he's being aggressive in defense of and respect for you, not against you.

3. "love is patient" (1 cor 13)
...does he get exasperated with you? what about with his friends? or does he take the time to wait until you learn how to throw a football, play the newest x-box game, or whatever? watch how he acts with those people he's really close to-mom, dad siblings, best friends. that's how he'll be to you when you guys have been together a while. and since we have alot of struggles in this life, you're gonna want a guy who love you enough to be patient with you. it's a sign of maturity, and it really helps as you work through life's problems.

4. "speaking the truth with love" (eph 4:15)
can you tell him anything? can you tell him when he does stuff you don't like without being afraid that he'll get all mad and dump you? or do you walk on pins and needles around him, making sure he's always happy? it's important to have honest lines of communications in a relationship. be honest with one another-if you don't feel comfortable with something. tell him! or if there's something you think is awesome about him, tell him that too!

5. "Christ loved the church and gave himself for it" (eph 5:25).
...does this guy do things for you, just so he can have you around and get stuff from you? it doesn't have to be just physical things, it can be just because you're beautiful and you make him look good around his friends. don't become some guy's play toy. make sure that he is treating you the way Christ treated the church. with respect, with dignity, selflessly. for your own good not his own.

9 Rules To Live By

1. today, and every day, deliver more than you are getting paid to do.

2. whenever you make a mistake or get knocked down by life, look back only long enough to learn the lesson.

3. build this day on a foundation of pleasant thoughts.

4. laugh at yourself and at life.

5. never neglect the little things.

6. always reward your long hours of labor and toil in the very best way, surrounded by your family.

7. live this day as if it will be your last.

8. count your blessings.

9. always be yourself. there's no one like you and no one on earth that can accomplish your mission.

the story of our heart

communion with God is replaced by activity for God. ther is little time in this outer world for deep questions. given the right plan, everything in life can be managed...except your heart.

the inner life, the story of our heart, is the life of the deep places within us, our passions and dreams, our fears and our deepest woulds. it is the unseen life, the mystery within-what buechner calls our "shimmering self." it cannot be managed like a corporation. the heart does not respond to principles and programs; it seeks not efficiency, but passion. art, poetry, beauty, mystery, ecstasy: these are what rouse the heart. indeed, they are the language that must be spoken if one wishes to communicate with the heart. it is why Jesus so often taught and related to people by telling stories and asking questions. His desire was not just to engage their intellects but to capture their hearts.

indeed, if we will listen, a sacred romance calls to us through our heart every moment of our lives. it whispers to us in the wind, invites us through the laughter of good friends, reaches out to us through the touch of someone we love. we've heard it in our favorite music, sensed it at the birth of our first child, been drawn to it while watching the shimmer of a sunset on the ocean. the romance is even present in times of great personal suffering: the illness of a child, the loss of a marriage, the death of a friend. something calls to us through experiences like these and rouses an inconsolable longing deep within our heart, wakening in us a yearning for intimacy, beauty, and adventure.

this longing is the most powerful part of any human personality. it fuels our search for meaning, for wholeness, for a sense of being truly alive. however, we may describe this deep desire, it is the most important thing about us, our heart of hearts, the passion of our life. and the voice that calls to us in this place is none other than the voice of God.

we cannot hear this voice if we have lost touch with our hearts.

"the ransomed heart"-j. eldredge

1. what's one thing i could pray for you about this week?

2. if you could be anything when you grow up, what would you be?

3. what's one thing you really appreciate about your best friend?

4. if we could go anywhere on vacations where would we go and what would we do?

5. what's your favorite thing for us to do as a family that doesn't involve spending money?

6. what one thing could i work on that would make you feel even more loved?

tagged by the rabenstrange

1)Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, and find line 4: "If we want him/her to feel the love we are tring to communicate, we must express it in his or her primary love language." The Five Love Languages

2)Stretch your left arm out as far as you can and see what you touch: computer printer

3) What is the last thing you watched on TV? fox news

4)Without looking, guess what time it is: 9pm

5) Now look at the clock. What is the actual time? 9:34

6) With the exception of the computer, what can you hear? my girls talking

7)When did you last step outside? today, going to karate class

8)Before you started this survey, what did you look at? rabenstrange blog.

9) What are you wearing? sweats and hoodie

10) Did you dream last night? no dreams

11) When did you last laugh? tonite at dinner at cracker barrel

12) What is on the walls of the room you are in? calender

13) Seen anything weird lately? Nothing comes to mind.

14) What do you think of this quiz? not having to think too much
15) What is the last movie you saw? mulan 2, didn't really watch just heard it playing

16) If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy? real estate, coffee shop, hair salon

17) Tell me something about you that I don't know: i'm really shy

18) If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do? I would allow people to live their lives without interference from governments. (stole that answer from you

the rabenstrange

!)

19) Do you like to dance? love it

20) George Bush? jury's still out for me, i reckon. but definitely better than the alternative!

21) Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her? she was a girl and i called her maegan

22) Imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him? can't imagine cos she was a girl

23) Would you ever consider living abroad? don' think so

24) What do you want God to say to you when you reach the pearly gates? Well done good and faithful servant, come and share in your Master's happiness. (another great answer i'm stealing from

the rabenstrange

)

"Be"

1. Be loyal to your friends.

2. Be strong enough to face the world each day.

3. Be weak enough to know you cannot do everything alone.

4. Be generous to those who need your help.

5. Be frugal with what you need yourself.

6. Be wise enough to know that you do not know everything.

7. Be foolish enough to believe in miracles.

8. Be willing to share your joys.

9. Be willng to share the sorrows of others.

10. Be a leader when you see a path others have missed.

11. Be the first to congratulate an opponent who succeeds.

12. Be the last to criticize a colleague who fails.

13. Be sure where your next step will fall, so that you will not tumble.

14. Be sure of your final destination, in case you are going the wrong way.

15. Be loving to those who do not love you, and they may change.

16. Above all, be yourself!

These pictures were taken at the martial arts tournament on Saturday, Feburary 18. Faith placed first in fighting and forms. Tarah placed first in fighting and third in forms. Nathan took first in fighting and fourth in forms. Maegan was the official cheerleader because on Thursday when she and Tarah were sparring, Tarah hit her with a side kick to her hip and ever since Maegan's back has been out.

Vital Questions!

As we travel the journey of life we aren't always given easy paths. And many times we are faced with "which path shall I take?". I've always tried to teach my girls that generally the "easy" road isn't necessarily the best, even tho' it is often the most traveled. So, in choosing to take the more difficult road these are some questions worth asking.


Ask yourself:
What are the options?
What are my priorities?
How can I grow?


Ask others:
Will you forgive me?
Will you help me?
What can I do for you?


Ask God:
Who am I?
What is Your will?
What is eternal?

Happy Valentines Day!

“Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.”
John 15:13

Seven Favorite Quotes of Zig!

1. Happiness is not a when or a where, but a here and a now!

2. When you associate with winners, your chances of winning go up.

3. You don't have to be great to start, but you have to start to be great.

4. If you aren't on fire, then your wood is wet.

5. I'm not going to ease up, slow up, or give up until I'm taken up.

6. You don't drown by falling into water. You only drown if you stay there.

7. You can have everything you want if you help enough other people get what they want.

Twelve Lessons (not sayings) From Aesop's Fables

i call them lessons because each one individually could give me a
whole days worth of preaching to give to my girls! hehe which ones
are your favorites? for today, my favs are 1, 2, 3,4, 6 and 10

1. avoid solutions that are worse than the problem.

2. it is great art to do the right thing at the right time.

3. example is more powerful than reproach.

4. honesty is the best policy.

5. he who is discontented in one place will seldom be happy in another.

6. do boldly what you do at all.

7. the worth of money is not in its possession, but in its use.

8. thoses who seek to please everybody, please no one.

9. the memory of a good deed lives on.

10. happy is the man wo learns from the misfortunes of others.

11. he who wishes evil for his neighbor bring a curse upon himself.

12. do not attempt too much at once.

i've been tagged by eph2810

this one really made me do some thinking. but i enjoyed it because it helped me realize things that have been accomplished and things that i'm still working on during this wonderful journey of my life!

10 Years ago:
worked full time and took the girls to the office with me
God began to show me how spiritually sick i had become
enjoyed the girls being 7 and 9
the girls started playing softbal
were looking for a church home
5 Years ago:
gone almost every weekend playing softball
worked less-more time with the girls
God increased our family by one
oldest daughter still in high school
went into premature labor and lost our only son-we named him solomon
1 Year ago:
blogging world was unknown too me (yeah Iris - I had no clue about it either - lol)
learned that being best friends with your husband is vital for marriage
all 5 of us started taking martial arts
oldest daughter graduated high school from home (yea, home learned we call it-lol)
discovered that i don't have all the answers
Yesterday:
cooked breakfast for lunch
tried to answer difficult questions that girls ask about guys!-lol
read all my favorite blogs
wasn't able to do karate, but did go and watch eveyone else!
watched "legend of the fall"
5 Songs I know all the words to (well maybe not ALL but can definitely sing along)
amazing grace
i can only imagine
redeemer
do they see Jesus in me (joy williams)
everthing to me (avalon)
5 Things I'd do with a million dollars:
buy land for my girls
pay off the mortgage
buy a coffee shop
buy a hair salon
buy an '05 stage 3 roush mustang
5 Places I'd ran away to:
into the arms of my best friend (husband)
into the arms of my Savior, Jesus
coast of oregon
a ski lodge
pigeon forge, tn
5 Things I'd never wear:
a tatoo
un-natural hair color (like blue-purple etc)
shorty shorts
a tongue ring (or eyebrow or navel)
overalls
5 Favorite toys:
computer (blog world)
05 mustang roush
digital camera
self help books
puzzles
5 Favorite books or TV shows:
The Bible
wild at heart (eldredge)
journey of desire (eldredge)
five love languages
smallville
5 Greatest Joys:
Jesus Christ
my sweetheart, husband, best friend
our three girls
watching my girls during their interpretive worship dance
my girl friends-in person and of course my blog world
5 People I tag

the rabenstrange

no_average_girl

Joy Through The Journey

Kimber's Korner

Corbin for Christ

Worship Dance, Snow and Superbowl

i don't have any pictures of the girls during their worship dance. they are very consciencious about keeping it to more worship as opposed to a performance. their goal is to simply encourage worship. but i did snap a few pictures as they were practicing at the cabin.

it was a great weekend with time to rest and relax. the girls had been invited to share their intrepretive worship dance at a church in tn, so we decided to go stay in a cabin and just drive there early on sunday morning.

we left after karate class on friday evening so we didn't arrive until the wee hours of sat morning. we slept in on sat, watched "a walk to remember", cooked breakfast for lunch and watched it snow.

we visited a martial arts store and ate some great food at the apple barn. got back to the cabin sometime around 9pm and just relaxed. some of us ended up staying up all nite, just talking and enjoying the time. at 5:30 am it was time to start getting ready and prepare to leave at 7:30. at 7 david went out to load the camper and realized it had iced over during the nite and we couldn't make it down the steep hill. he and faith poured salt water for 30 minutes just to make a path to try.

finally, at 8:30 we were able to get off that hill. we didn't have a phone number or contact for the church, so we were glad to make it down and be on our way to worship service. we actually made great timing, even spare time because we got lost and burned another 20 minutes.

the girls and josh did a wonderful job. they did eight songs and i was so blessed. it's amazing to think back and realize how much one week in our lives actually became a huge part of our lives. maegan had wanted to take a sign language class (she has always had a heart for the deaf) and after several months, i gave in and took both she and tarah to a one week class. they really didn't learn too much i didn't think but they kept practicing.

and one day about 2 weeks later, maegan came and asked me to buy her the american sign language book. i was very hesitant because the best price we could find was still over $60.00, and that seemed like alot for one book that i felt would soon become a "dust catcher". but something inside of me just wouldn't let me say no. we ordered the book and the rest is history. she taught herself all the signs needed to sign for our worship service. and not much longer the dance team asked her to incoporate the sign language and dance.

two years have passed and both she and tarah have continued to minister with what i call a beautiful gift that i labeled interpretive worship dance.

we got home in time to settle in and watch the superbowl with friends. great time. and it was a lovely weekend.

A Parent's Daily Prayer Guide...

MONDAY:
ask God to place a protective, solid hedge around your children.

TUESDAY:
pray that your children would use Godly wisdom in selecting friends and peers who wil make a positve difference in their lives.

WEDNESDAY:
pray that your children would stay pure in their thoughts and deeds.

THURSDAY:
pray that they will be caught if they wander into cheating, lies, or mischief.

FRIDAY:
pray that they will be alert and thinking clearly as they attend school an extracurricular activities, and as they take exams.

SATURDAY:
pray for the spouse each child will marry someday.

SUNDAY:
ask God to help them live their lives for Him.

Words of Advice?

ok, i could use some input here...as most of you know, i'm raising girls and i always tell people that God knew exactly what i needed cos since i didn't have brothers, i sure wouldn't know how to raise boys. of course, i really believe God would have equipped me with whatever i needed. but g'ness, girls just seem so much easier to me!

little history...i've always tried to teach my girls what i feel is just common modesty and being a lady...such things as:

1...allowing the guys to be the assertive one.

2...not wearing clothes JUST to call attention to their body. in later years (when they were 12-15) i tried to balance this by letting them know that it is perfectly acceptable to be beautiful becos God made them to be so, but inside first. and i really don't want myself (or them) to become legalistic about it, just considerate. as years have passed, i feel blessed that even tho they enjoy fashion and want to wear the most up to date styles, they are mindful, and many times that means layering or wearing an undershirt.

3. before spending lots of time with one guy, consider his character and goals.

4. staying physically pure and saving themselves for their knight and shining armor prince.

so, all of this sounds great and they have and are doing a wonderful job. they are far from perfect, and constantly work on attitudes, etc....but what do you say to them when then say things like, "mom, all the guys seem so passive and they just seem to wait on the girls to make the first move so that they don't have to deal with rejection?". "where are the real guys that parents are raising to be strong, masculine, and adventurous?" and so much of that seems true in that the girls are so agressive in our society, it has allowed guys to retreat.

in talking with them, they feel that if the guy isn't willing to step up and be assertive now, then that's a glimpse of the future in that he will always be passive, and never take the lead.

i've given all the pad answers, "don't give in, wait on God's best", "just wait, the right one will come along" , "he's out there, and it will be worth the wait"...but is there any other words of wisdom, encouragement or advice that you have. sometimes as a mom i get into only one train of thought, so please feel free to give me some different angles.

have a blessed day!